REALity Recovery

An E-mail Exchange Between Stanice and an Anonymous Mother... It begins:

Anonymous Mother: Thank you for your book.........as I struggle with a heroin addicted child, I am able to find the better of this heart wrenching part of my life......that all things are possible through God.....that God loves us all..........that we are all given the free will to choose our way.

I also thank you for your chapters on "God Bless The Child" and "Mortal Man" which so aptly explain the inner thoughts and feelings of my husband towards my son. I was convinced that you probably were peeking through my windows when you wrote these chapters but then of course I didn't know you and this was written long before my situation began. I realized we are not alone in our circumstances of life. It give us some feeling of normalcy to know others are experiencing the same......and the only constant through all of this is God........always was, always is, always will be.......and always ready to come to us when we're ready to open our door.

I thank you and will continue to pray for your ministry and I will remember what you have written about your life. Whenever I become frustrated or discouraged with my child's choices, I will remember that God is there, watching and waiting with open arms for my son to come to Him........

Stanice: Thank you!!!! For taking the time to read my book, share your experiences with me by writing this email. God promised long before I finished the manuscript that He would meet each reader within the pages exactly where they were…and you are yet another testimony to God being faithful and keeping His Word!!!!

I read your email to Omie (my friend since childhood and ministry partner that you met in the book) over the phone this morning and we praised God together for your testimony and for your life and for your child. Hopefully, there will come a time, when I can come your town (no matter where it is) to share my testimony and perhaps have a book discussion with whomever the Lord draws to whatever I believe that He will set up through you one day.

I love you, my sister in Christ Jesus and I look forward to meeting you on some God-ordained day. I pray that God continues to bless you and prosper your spirit as He is doing. I pray for your child, that God does for your child what He has done for me. That your child’s steps will turn toward Home to Jesus and that He will restore what the canker worm has eaten. I pray that your ministry to others in similar situation will flourish as your soul continue to flourish in all the God has deposited in you. I’m excited and expecting God to act mightily on your behalf. For Him a good Name. I’m thank You, Lord right now for the miracle you are in the midst of performing even as I write this email…seeking only your face. In Jesus’ Name. Amen. So be it, indeed!

Anonymous Mother: A few weeks ago, I sent you an e-mail entitled "I Love You". Well, the child I referred to in my e-mail overdosed lastnight..............he's alive. I called the Teen Challenge program in ________ and they said they were full.........actually my son called them and they explained they were full......I thought perhaps that my son hit 'rock botto' after overdosing lastnight.......time will tell.....but in the meantime, I pray, Stanice, that the Lord God, Almighty, make an opening for him where there is no opening.........and I know that will happen if it is in my son's heart to get the 'real deal' treatment for his heroin abuse...i.e. that he turn it over to God. What are the chains that bind him from seeking God's help?

As I love my son very much, I cannot continue to live like this anymore........I have two other children, ages 15 & 16 and a husband. Everyone tells me to 'kick him out' ........I don't know what is right or wrong anymore. What does your personal experience tell you about 'a parent no longer wanting the problem in their home'? Does it weaken the bind that perhaps gives him the will to continue to live everyday? Would I be sending him to be sacrificed by the world if I 'kick him out'?

Dear God, I thank you for Stanice and what she has accomplished and overcome.......she gives us all a glimpse of hope that my son can overcome this demon. I pray dear God, that you get in my son's head like you have never done before and provide him a way out of his 'hell' ...an opening where there is none...a determiination where there is just a little right now.....and the ability to see that we really LOVE him and he needs to break the chains that bind him. Amen! Thanks Stanice,

Stanice: AMEN!!! Thank you, Jesus! For sparing his life!!!!! Open up the doors for ______’s son, Lord. Make the help available to him and the willingness on His part to receive and actively seek that help. Plant a hope that out shines all despair and gets him to press his way…just like you did for me Lord, Do for him.

_____, let me say this, my mom – shut the door on me… my dad…years before my mom shut the door on me…and while it seem like THE cruelest thing any parents could ever do… you know what it did for me – It gave me no choice but to CRY OUT TO GOD. No one else was there. I can’t tell you what you need to do…no one can, my sister in Christ – but Christ – as He will lead you through our Counselor—Our Helper—the Holy Spirit. We have to trust, if we know God like we say we know Him we got to show it by letting go and letting Him! Trusting Him like our next breath depends on it—AND IT DOES. As long as there is breath—there is hope! You are doing the right thing…you are seeking God first. Just like His Word instructs you…

Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Pray it out using God’s prescription… Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Anonymous Mother: Thank you so very much for your very thorough and personal response. Shortly after I sent my e-mail to you, the story of Abraham and his son, Isaac, came to mind ( Genesis 22:1-14 ). How difficult it must have been for Abraham to take Isaac to the mountaintop thinking that his only son would be sacrificed.....letting my son go could result in death from overdose, a killing by a drug'lord', even diseases such as hepatitis or HIV. It's almost as if I'm letting him go to be sacrificed....but like Abraham, I much trust and I believe God is testing my limitations of my commitment to Him. The test is, "Do I really trust God?" and of course, I do.

In your distress you called and I rescued you, I answered you out of a thundercloud; I tested you at the waters of Meribah. Psalm 81:7

Thank you once again for your kindness, Sis...I feel as if I've known you all of my life. May God continue to bless you and your ministry.

Stanice: Not letting go could also result in the same… Perhaps, check out Nar-Anon…
Nar-Anon's Purpose Nar-Anon is a twelve-step program designed to help relatives and friends of addicts recover from the effects of living with an addicted relative or friend.

Nar-Anon's Step One…

We are powerless over the addict and our lives had become unmanageable (trying the manage the behavior and life of the addict—I added this part). When you go to the website check to see where meetings are in your area. Go to a meeting. You’ll get the sense that you are not alone in your struggle. There are also other programs and I have compiled hundreds of links to 12-Step Programs & Other Recovery Related links on my website.

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